I feel better

I was a little upset about something regarding Zemil... and funny thing is, 3 minutes after that, my calendar reminder for an up coming event goes off. The event was "Zemil Loves You Lots".

I really needed that.

GOLDFISH

Got a new family member! Unfortunately my mom bought the wrong type of goldfish so when I put them together... they kept on fighting :c. I ended up having to separate them into two different bowls. But even then, they're still trying to get at each other LOL...

University

I don't really have much to say... except that University is slowly taking it's time to becoming better and to being my "norm"; but for now, it still feels like awkward summer camp I don't want to go back to. But don't get my wrong... everyone here is super nice and all but I'm just home sick for my boyfriend and for my friends... and just being able to be so happy and chill in a perfectly knitted group of awesome people.
Other than that I've occupied a lot of my time with homework and what not... to the point where half the people in my res don't even know I live here and the rest that I do say hi to.. are not even my friends. I have no friends in this residence... so it's a little bit saddening. Oh well.............
Hard thing is, I live in an arts residence... filled with art kids, while I am taking science. So while I am in my room doing all my readings, they're out playing or hanging out together.

Sad life...
I just miss highschool.

I hate having so many feelings. I want to talk to someone about them, but it makes me feel like I'm a pathetic little girl complaining about little things or about everything. I don't want people to see me as that, so I keep it all to myself. I hate getting hurt by little things, things that I don't even know if other people would be bothered by. I hate it though. I hate feeling this.

Is it my fault? Is it always my fault? I don't know... perhaps it is. But still, this feeling I get really hurts me. Maybe I'm imagining it all, and just making myself feel this way or maybe its real and I deserve it.

Thinking About You

My friend's fan-made video of the song Thinking About You by David Choi.
Featuring....... my boyfriend and I haaha. They needed a couple and the first two they thought of had work during the day so they came to us.
It was pretty fun doing this for them though I usually don't enjoy being the subject... I'm mostly the one behind the camera. But it was pretty easy and fun once I got the hang of it :). Yea... and he was just a natural... him and his poker face while I laughed every second of everything I had to do.
Well... I like this :D ehhe

I don't like people seeing how insecure I am and how very self concious I am of myself.

BEACH DAYYY

WOOHOO!! First actually big event of the summer~... and it's already half way through summer vaca so that's kind of sad.

I woke up at 6am and even up taking the 8:45am bus because we missed the first one by 5 seconds, then we waited for another friend because she slept in half an hour... and the people she went with left her. But it was all good, we ended up meeting up with the rest of the crew at the station.

When we got to central we didnt really do much at first, people got in the water and started playing but I didn't really feel like it so I spent a good hour just walking around looking for pretty rocks in the water to give to my boyfriend LOL I ended up finding a LOT and got Rebecca and Johnny in on it too haha. After I gave in and just went to chill in the tides with the rest of the people. Man it was intensely fun tho... getting wiped out by huge tidal waves and such. I ended up hurting myself today tho which is no surprise... I hit my back on a really sharp rock while walking back to shore :|. After a while of that we just went back to chilling on the beach playing in the blazing hot sand burying people in it. A bunch of them went to get ice cream and left me with a few other people. I just chilled on the towels to dry off and got bored and fell asleep- and shit i got some UGLYYYY ASS sunburn on my back... oh my goodness...
Idk.... kind of sounds boring writing this all out but it was actually pretty fun, getting to see all my friends again and hang out at the beach. HEHE

haha everyone just started passing out at the end of the day~

WELL only one thing would of made this trip so much better... if only Zemil came :( oh well... not his fault he couldn't come~~ just a bit upset though since he got into big fight with his mom today and I'm not really sure what I can do to make it better D: -sigh-

Well~~ tomorrow I have some family day with... some other fam friends. Going hiking to a waterfall...and having a picnic.

This marks the half year

Today is loh gung and my 6th month! It's been half a year already! Dayummm hahaah. I guess a little more special to me than him since I've never been in a relationship (or one that's lasted for THIS long) so I'm REALLY REALLY happy and greatful for this amazing half year :D.

Today we just spend our day at Square One. We didn't really do much besides going there to buy Phung's birthday gift and a uke case. Some other weird things happened today which I wont get into detail but... I ended up tearing up a few times because I'm not really sure... pmsing LOL and was saddened by a few things like how he kept on leaving me u__u" but yea, no big deal I guess I'm not sure why I teared up so many times today but oh well blame it on pms haha.

We wandered around square for a while, and explored. We ended up finding ourselves a nice secret hiding spot where the two of us to just chill on and meet up at. We watched our ghetto sunset (covered by buildings) until we got kicked out by security. We pretty much just went home after and went on a bit of an evening stroll and talked :D. It was really nice.

I got home and got into sorta shit... not really. Mom was just lecturing about going out and how I should be coming home earlier for dinner. She said I'm not even married yet and she's having dinner alone. She's lonely because my sister has work too and she values her family dinner time. Hah guilty.

As for the rest of the week (or my birthday and such).... nothing much happened actually... so I'll just throw in some pictures, since pictures speak a thousand words right?

birthday food :D






the day i locked myelf outside my house


lovely 6 month date with the love of my liiiifeee ♥

summer

is so ****ing boring. been doing the same shit every ****ing day and im ****ing bored out of my guts. i just want a ****ing job so I can have at least a somewhat productive not wasted summer and get some money to save up for school and to at least spend buying things for people like my mother or boyfriend or friends birthday, but nope.
now I'm here at home everyday waiting for Zemil to have lunch or be off school so I can see him for an hour or two which is honestly the only excitement of the day or anything to look forward to. too broke to have plans with people to even go out to eat or bus to wherever because I have no money to buy tickets either. I'm wasting my summer away. at least I have a new hobby... playing the uke.

Prom + the week

If he was my son, I'd say he's the biggest flirt of life, but if he was my boyfriend, I'd say he's the sweetest boy in the world. And luckily, he is my boyfriend!

He was carrying a backpack around when we were taking pictures at the park, and everyone asked him why he had one. He just told us it was to carry his things like his gatsby and shoes... turns out, he actually had sneakers and a sweater for me in the bag in case my feet were in too much pain and in case I got cold during prom. I don't know but... that is one of the most thoughtful, considerate and sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I was actually really happy and surprised when I found out, but unfortunately he wasn't allowed to bring his backpack into the banquet hall. But in the end, he still ended up giving me shoes and a jacket to wear, but it was the ones he was wearing.  -guilt guilt guilt- But I felt really happy to call him my boyfriend hhaha -- to show him off (shh im not a show off type of person but it was nice to). 

He did a bunch of other cute things that night too like giving me a heart candy that said "My Lady" LOL!... and even tho he doesn't really enjoy taking photos, he agreed to take photo booth pictures with me ^U^ HEHE.

The next day after prom, a few of us planned ourselves a little YAD graduate lunch and went to the Tea House to eat. We ended up going to McDonalds right after that and then Tim Hortons... #FatKids LMAO. But at Mcd, Bruno's Lazy Song came on and he starting singing along.. but instead he said -- Today I don't feel like doing anything~~ I just wanna lay in my bed~... "with you". LOOOOOLL ♥ I literally just died on the inside. If I wasn't in public I probably would of just jumped on him and hugged him hahaaha. He always does the most random, cutest things...


Pretty much the week followed up with commencement (woo! but to be honest was really really boring and bad and very hot... my friends dad's shoe soles melted!) and report card pick up today.  Haha to my surprise, I passed calculus... and with a 67 too! I also got a picture with Mr. Li :D and card that almost made me cry from Thomas. Man... Thomas is honestly the cutest little (really tall) boy I have ever met and I honestly wish he was my brother. I have mad respects for him and the way he treats girls and for sure he's going to go far in life.

After that, Zemil came over to my school and we biked back to my house... or well when I say bike, we only had my bike, so we tried to mission ourselves home by having me sit on the seat while he tried to pedal standing. It worked though which was pretty fun LOL. After that, he pretty much just played league HAHAHAHA...

But I'm really going to miss him when he has summer school. I've already gotten so use to seeing him every morning or at least every day... I'm not really sure what I'm going to do when he has school and I have no plans. I'm going to be so bored q__q

Anyways, I'll just throw some random pictures of prom and commencement in here to end off this post.

Really Good Day

until I got home of course.


Spent the day looking for something that would make Zemil and I match for tomorrows prom (since we decided not to get a corsage or boutonnière) ... most difficult thing of life! We ended EVENTUALLY finding a tie and handkerchief that was CLOSE to matching my dress colour haha so we just took it. Not even sure how it's going to turn out but heck what ever. Plan B = going in matching sweats and a black hoody HAHA (but I'm pretty sure we'll get kicked out).

Other than that whole headache... It was a really fun and weird day... so many ugly faces and funny jokes haha. Good day good day. I'm not even sure how we understand each other's craziness.
I think we're pretty compatible for each others weirdness... not even eHarmany can find us a better match LOLOLOL because honestly... we do the weirdest shit together. 

Other than that, I helped out a stranger today which got me pretty happy : ).
I was waiting for my bus and several people had came to the stop to wait as well.One of the ladies went up to another lady asking "excuse me.... do you know if i can still use this transfer?" and so the other lady was explaining to her how the transfer works yada yada yada and that her transfer expired at 6:15. Clearly you can tell this is the first time she's taken the bus.
Afterwards she was asking the lady if she knew which bus went down to _______ and ____________~ and so she said something but i couldnt hear, but the lady still had a 'WTF? D:' face. 

Our bus came, we all got on... and that wasnt at first but then came on in the end. The bus driver asked if she was unsure of where she going and she replied "no.... but.... its okay... " so she went on and sat in the middle of the bus while I was sitting right at the front. During the whole ride, she was looking around and down the street with her big lost puppy eyes and i was like "oh my god................. i should talk to her... " even tho im not that familer with buses.... and i felt sooo bad. so....i worked up the guts, got up and sat in front of her, turned around and asked "do you... know where youre going? haha" and she starting crying (not literally)  "OH MY GOD NOOO" and that she was so confused and stuff... and so I tried to explain to her where to get off... or that she could go to the last stop's terminal and ask the info desk which bus to take.

After I gave her my transfer because i know her's expired and mine ended at 8:45, and I didn't need it anyways.She started telling me about  how if this was downtown, she would have known here to go, "i'd be at home" and so i asked her where she lived and had a nice quick conversation about where she was trying to go.When it came to my stop I said I had to go and wished her luck. I got up and shook her and and wished her a nice day and left.

It was pretty fun actually... I hope she made it okay LOL. 
But yea my happiness was short lived. I got home and mom was just being a bother. Have a headache and I'm really sore tired right now... I'm not sure why but hopefully I'm not getting sick.

Proms tomorrow!... and thank god it only happens once in your life... This shit is expensive, tiresome and too much work. Fack it. 

Calc, drinks and summer weather

I've been cleaning!... lots HAHA... and I'm still not done sadly. I like to clean my stuff thoroughly! and see what I can dig up and throw out.

... ahhh gad- a years material of advanced functions and calculus...

Went out to grab a drink with Johnny today which was pretty nice ^U^-- spontanious plans are always interesting ~ We basically just sat there for 2 hours talking about random shits like prom, teenage rebellious and random stories we could think of. Then we moped in memory of Metro closing down :c sad sad... now were am I suppose to pick up quick groceries?! 

Was bored for the rest of the day so in prep for prom, this is my first ever attempt at putting on any sort of make up on my face... eye liner... hm u__u" 

It's only 11:25pm and im sleepy as hell... should head to bed soon I guess~

Oh-- and tomorrow's our 5 months :3... gonna reach the temple for a meeting and... I don't think he know's I'm going, so lets see if I can surprise him!

SUMMA TIME!

My official FIRST DAY OF SUMMER!!! (Tho I did spend yesterday going out after exams)
It's off to a pretty nice start actually! Still need to get out of my sleep deprivation state... but I'm getting there :3.

Yesterday was my last exam- CACUURAS!... fck that exam was sooooooo.... funny to be honest LOL. It was either you studied and really need it, or you studied nothing/ close to nothing and was just hoping for  a 50%. At least 75% of the kids didnt study... and ended up  sleeping, or doodling through the whole 2.5 hours. I spent the whole time just giggling looking at my exam papers thinking "LMFAOO oh fck im so failing this shit LOL" Ah well, thank god this isnt my top 6 marks being submitted. but its gonna be hella ugly on my transcript :c... ahh well. I'll deal with calc again in two months in uni- when im being paid to get screwed over.

After that, Zemil came over to my school (hehe ^U^) and grabbed a lunch and some DOLLAR DRINKS at mickeyD's. During the whole time we were eating, he was very... giggley HAHA... I was sort of knew something was up tho because he told me there was a surprise... but out of no where, he busts out a gift bag with a present inside. Yo....... LOL at that very moment I was actually really confused and happy haha.. i opened it up and it was a wallet! a really nice wallet... whew... like it's actually RALLY pretty LOL like daaaayummmmm this boy's got taste HAAHAH... but all jokes a side, I was so happy and awkward because I wasn't sure what to do... too over joyed, I just sat there sobbing inside and caressing the wallet. He knew I was in dire need of a new wallet since my old one was close to the end of it's life line, so he went out to buy one for my early birthday and soon to be five months~~ :3. HAah I feel so guilty because this was actually really thoughtful and super nice of him- and he had a lot of difficulties finding where to buy a wallet because he was unsure of my style because apparently I'm very guy like... LOL (merp am I really?... hah oh god). But success! His mission was a success ahaha. After that basically, we just walked back to his place, picked up his sister and just chilled. He tried teaching my how to play League of Legends but I was passed out because I only slept 2 hours trying to study calc. 

Then comes the most intense part of my life........ his mom comes home...not knowing I was over. Man my heart literally sunk going like "oh fck....... shits gonna get scary". When she walked into another room, we got his little sister to distract her and I ran for the door, grabbed my shoes and ran down out of the house. After a few minutes... thinking everything was over, his mom leaves the house the house again and drive by me walking... worse of it was, we made eye contact and she recognized me. Ahhh man got mad booked right there. She stopped at the stop sign and didnt move even though there we're no cars... that's when i knew she knew, so i quickly just walked into some random persons front porch trying to pretend I'm not who she thinks I am. Well that didn't work. LOL. 

That was pretty much my day yesterday~ today wasn't as crazy ahah, just learned how to play League, chilled at Zemil's school because he had his last exam today and just tried to go prom shopping for him. His mom called and automatically knew he was with me which is kind of... yea hah no hiding it now. just time to make a good impression!... 

Spending the rest of my day cleaning my rechidly messy room and jamming to some dubstep :3 and maybe try a game of League tonight

lookin like shit after exam week, but im finally outa high school biatchh!!